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(She brings up a good point. We at Yahoo! Personals have "reshaped" our body type options. Starting January 1st, 2005 our customers will be able to choose from these additional categories:
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·Skeletal ·Anorexic with less than 2% body fat ·Anorexic with more than 2% body fat ·Emaciated ·Atrophied ·Cadaverous ·Gaunt ·Haggard ·Distended ·Bulging ·Corpulent ·Cow ·Elephantine ·Gargantuan |
·Inflated ·Dumpy ·Meaty ·Porcine ·Swollen ·Wan ·Look Ma, lumps! ·Proportional with J.lo tendencies ·Large curd ·Uh-oh, better get Maaco ·Nell Carter pre-Atkins ·I broke the truck stop scale ·Call me Orca |
well letssee im a white male im 63,220lbs brown hair and eyes.Im a milk truck driver real exciting not!!
(Sure you're not the actual milk truck?)
I am 38, Gemini, 6'1", brown hair/blue eyes, beard/mustache, & so you'll be forewarned, weigh 585 pounds. I am a NON smoker and social drinker if I drink at all. I tend to sweat & get easily winded if I have to walk too far/too much & I can be slow to subtlety. I am a collage graduate from a 2 year college and actively seeking gainful employment. There is probably more to say that might describe me but I dont know what right now. If I left any thing out or if you have a question please feel free to ask me, just be prepared, for I will answer all questions with full and complete honesty. I'm Looking for a Local Sexually dominant woman who likes to recieve Oral and has flexible time, not for Permanant "Mr.Right-hood". Just good and great times when it's available. Also if you have a Hot tub that would be a Plus.
(And by hot tub I mean the Pacific Ocean)
I am one of those guys that cant wait to get home to the person I love. Right now that is my two year old daughter, Symphony. I spend most of my time at work. The rest I spend with her. I do manage to find time for myself,but now I would like to spend that time with someone. I dont think I really understand body type. I am big! I am overweight,but not fat. I am strong, but not athletic. I have a gut,but it is not all soft and jelly like. That is why I put "thick" I like to go out occasionally,but staying at home with a bad movie with someone special is better.
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Guys like him keep my legacy alive. |
ok the basics...name Sue,two children..daugher 20 and son 8 both liveing home with me...daughter in collage..i am a heavy set woman..but i am not dead...i enjoy life and what it has to offer..i love to golf..i suck at it but i love it..in to cermaic painting and reading..and my two babys..bubbles and buttons..(my dogs)..i love to go fishing and camping..i can be a bit of a tomboy at times...well most of the time..i am not in to shopping,dresses,and all the girlie things...get in and get what i want and out of there..lol..but could set in a boat all day fishing..i guess for a woman i am a little wired...but i love to dance and bowl and have fun with my friends and love to meet new people..some say i have a great sense of humor..i just know i do not take life to serious its to short..i pay my bills and do what i have to...other that ..so cares...well thats a little about me...
(A little too much)
I am a fun,teasingly sweet woman with a great sense of humor. I am by no means the fittest woman in the world with the "Faith Hill" body, but I'm country built and can hold my own, as well as the extra pounds that are attached. I'm not obese, but consider myself "chunky"? I love salads, but am basically a "steakntaters" type gal.
(If you're asking whether or not you are indeed obese or chunky, I'd have to say neither: you're country built, remember?)
Hi! I'm a 23 year old female,single,who works as a customer service representative I live in South Oklahoma City and I have two cats who live with me and two dogs who have to live with my folks. I like to hang out,drink Bud Light and play pool, or at least try to look like I know how to play pool :) I'm about 5'6", I think I'm a chunky monkey but my friends lie and say I look fine ( Great friends huh?)I really can't describe my hair color due to the fact that I suffer from the same disease that most women do and can't make up my mind as to what color I want,I have hazel eyes and am told that I have a great sense of humor.
(You ain't a chunky monkey, you just thick in all da right places: your damn skull)
I am new at this. I am seperated and currently getting a divorce. I am a full time mother of 2 beatuiful girls. I have shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. I am 5"8 and chunky. I think I am pretty even though I am chunky. Sorry at this time I have no picture. Try to think of this as an adventure I don't think looks are everything. Its what in the heart that counts. I am comfortable at who I am and where Ia m at in my life and where it is going and what I am looking for. I plan to go back to the college in the fall and major either in radiology or nuclear medicine.
(Look ma, lumps!)
I have long lt brown hair and a ghetto booty. I am thick . I am also very tan. I am an assistant manager at a gas station. i like to go out and play pool and drink. I also like to dance but we don't have any kick it clubs like that in topeka anymore.
More about her match:
I am seeking anice person who can keep it real. If you got a girl just let me know . I go wit the flo. I do like short stocky guys. I also like tall stocky men as long as they dont lie or treat females crazy.
(Shit, I have to tell you if I have other girlfriends? Stocky man's gotta keep it ree, breeatch!)
hi~ im a single sexie and free white female from cincinnati ohio. i m 5'2/160/thick but not fat or sloopy/baby blue eyes that get couplments every day:) brown hair shoulder legnth. I have no kids/independant/own my own apartment/currently unemployed:(. im a very loving,honest,open minded person...love animals very much and have 2 birds and i love dogs esp. rotties,labs and boxers.. so if u would like to get to know me ..dont be shy ...its ok i dont bite ...
(Actually, you DO bite)
Ok A Little About Me, Let's See I'm A single Parent With 4 Beautiful Kids 14,11,7,6. I'm Constantly On The Go With Sporting Events And Practices For The Kids. I'm A Hard Working Woman Who Really Don't Have Time For Games, I'm Looking For Friendship Maybe A Committment And Maybe Even Marriage. P.S: I'm A Beautiful Thick Woman With All The Right Moves.
(What's with the capitalization, folks? Someone's Misunderstood Turabian Again)
Iam avery sweet and cute girl who loves the outdoors, but loves the movies and dinning. Iam a caring and loyal person, who just wants to be loved. I like to cuddle up with that special man and just talk about the every day things, most of i would love to have some one to talk to and be there for me as I would them.I have blonde hair, gray sometime blue eyes. 5 5 170 lbs iam alittle thick but cute........................... .....
(I just wanna be loved, is that so wroooong?! Actually, with you, it is)
LOOKING FOR MR RIGHT. LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A WOMEN THE WAY SHE SHOULD BE.SOMEONE THAT LIKES THICK GIRLS NOT FAT THICK. I LIKE A MAN THAT CAN COOK(I THINK THATS ROMANTIC)I ALSO LIKE CANDLE LIT DINNERS..BUBBLE BATHS BY CANDLE LIGHT...HORSEBACKRIDING ON THE BEACH...SOMEONE THAT LIKES ANIMALS IS A DEFENT PLUS WITH ME ...SOMEONE THAT S HONEST...A BIG PLUS WITH ME ..SOMEONE CARING RESPECTABLE,GOAL ORIENTED,OPEN MINDED,NOT ON GAMES OR ANY DRAMA.SOMEONE THATS LOOKIN FOR A NICE FEMALE TO START A FRIENDSHIP AND POSSABLE LTR.. PLZ NO GAMES SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY!! DONT BE SHY...TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME ITS ALL GOOD:D
(Now what about phat thick? Whataboudit? Huh? Huh?)
I am educated, fun and sexy. I have medium length hair and a thick body figure that is not sloppy. Very laid back, enjoys laughing and very stimulating conversation! Would enjoy mental stimulation first.
(Ok, the order of stimulation goes 1) Mental 2) Physical 3) Conversate. Got it)
houglass size 16 seeking slender cutie
are there any slender guys out there who are into fat chicks? i've just always wondered that. i have a bit of a penchant for the finely built boys, and a lot of them only seem to date women that seem to mirror their body type. i go to shows sometimes and with the smorgasbord of male specimen that are there, most of the guys i find shag worthy were accompanied by their equally slender female counterparts.
(Shocker)
it just gets me wondering--where are the skinny boys for me? there's just something about them, all wiry and sinewy. it completely yanks my crank, so to speak. i think i'm attracted because i'm not a skinny girl myself (a proportionate size 16). i never felt like i needed to be protected by a guy, physically at least. i can take care of myself. just because i'm bigger doesn't mean i have to date a guy who is like me. opposites attract, as they say. so any intelligent, sweet, cute as hell slender preferably caucasian boys out there who are into bigger femmes? i figured id put the word out and see what's out there for me. i don't seem to attract the guys i'd like to, so hell, lets see where this goes. as for myself: 23, from the nyc area, and had random spouts of brilliance and eloquence, one of being this personals ad. hopefully ure in your 20s or early 30s, have an interesting sense of style, and can rock a pair of glasses like noones business. see what you like? just write already. :)
(Jack Sprat could eat no fat--which included his wife)
Hi im Kirby im 6'5'' 145lbs short medium brown hair glasses im slim with *hangy skin cause i have crones dissease wich im fine with im so horrible at these things uhh i like to have al sorts of fun be watch a vid at home or go out and find fun at the bar or werever i can find it ummm whatelese is there iv got 13 tattoos and my tounge pirced twards the tip I like al sorts of music except country i play bass as a hobby im ur all around stupid lovable guy the reason i dont have a female counter part is casue im to stupid to figgure out if wemen dig me or not im just to uhhh simple i guess u could say lol *(hangy skin- due to the fact that i used to weigh a hefty amount then it was lost rapidly due to chrones disease (and no its not contagious) theeri for i was left with saggy skinwich is nasty but yet fun)
More about saggy's match:
has to like Type O Negative casue thier my absolute fav band ever and its great to uhhh yeah anyways pretty peepers u have to have beatiful eyes i love to look into eyes and a nice neck i like long necks with those cool side muscles that stick out i love those umm if ur gothic u should mail me cause id b pretty sure to mail u back cause i love goth chicks im kinda a goth guy myself i just dont were the black all the time anymore but all the music and feelin is still thier umm what else do i want to look for in woman i dont care about hair color or anything like that or eye color just as long as thier nice to look at lig big glossy ones mmmm ur gonna have to like metal music of somesort be it black metal heavy metal death meatl just any metal catogory uhhh what else someone tall would b nice cause i have a bad back and would actully like to look someone in thier eyes at my level but im not picky and i think thats all i can think of for now
(*Holy shit)
Happily Single Tentatively Seeks Company
I am an eclentic, eccentric woman looking for a professional man by day, appreciation of my fun self by night. I think it's important to be responsible with a career you enjoy and appreciate time away from work to kick back or be a little crazy (in a fun way). I used to be a very heavy woman, but now I'm in pretty good shape. It should be noted that I've lost even more weight since that photo was taken and I have no makeup on in the picture. I can be quite beautiful, I'm told. I point out my former state as a large woman so you know that my health is important to me--I'm an active woman. I've also accomplished a great deal with my weight loss, so you can see that I know how to make the important things a priority in my life.
(What a genuine soul. Rather than take a current photo, you'd rather painstakingly piece together an excrutiating apologia detailing your amazing journey from Refrigerator Perry to someone quite beautiful--so you're told)
im 5'8", thick in all the right places. light brown eyes, black hair. loves to go out to different places and have fun. yes, i do have GOD in my life and he comes first always. i have a great personality and i hope my future man does too. i love to make people laugh. i love to rap/freestyle and one day i will make it big in the music industry, also, i love to play basketball and i have a full scholarship in it. i like chatting on the computer.
More about MC Thick's match:
1 has to have GOD in his life 2 has a body 3 smells good all the time 4 looks aren't everything, but atleast be a cutie 5 has goals in his life 5 taller than me 6 believes in a 50/50 relationship 7 can take care of a woman 8 has no baby momma drama, or drama with ex-girls 9 can dress 10 great personality 11 can be romantic 12 likes to play sports 13 has his own money 14 someone i can take home to momma
(I dig how you repeated 5, just to keep it real. And number 2 is a winner, haven't we all been there! But it's number 8 that confuses me--are you talking about drama with transsexuals?)
hi im rob 35 63 200 i like nascar,football,basktball,real nice guy who is look for a real nice lady. i hope you are out there.
(And I'm Candy 36 24 36. Wait, 200? Jesus you have a huge ass. Those are the measurements of the Egyptian pyramids, broseph)
Hey there.. Okay, so I have had my ad up for a while now, and thought I'd update it a little. I am a very kick back type of girlie, and I'm always down for whatever. I am classy in a sense, someone once told me that I "have a look like I'm high maintenance, but I'm not, which is even better.."(if that gives u an idea..?)
(Crystal clear. Go on)
I have a lot of bros, so I love to do not-so-girlie thangs too,(I love video games,I love watching boxing, LOVE cars, going to the motocross races or even goin out and partaking in some CKY2K type of craziness.)Then again I love to chill at home and watch a movie curled up next to my man(whoever u may be). Bottom line is that I'm really down for whateva. I also sing. I write all of my own songs, and I'm gonna be famous someday. But I must let you know that I AM a thick girl, (meaning I got extra meat...not fat..but I got meat on my bones.. SO.....If you are in search of an anorexic little skinny chick, I would most definitley not be the one to hit up.)
(Also, if you're looking for a healthy, active girlie, keep on goin. If you want below average, average or slightly above average weight for a 5'5" lady, I'm still not the one. In addition, if you're looking for a fat slice of hog, again, you gotta move it along 'cause I got extra meat, you dig?)
It is important to me that you are fully aware of my thickness... Just had to throw that one out there.. Mmm k.. Hit me up if ya wanna get to know me better! I'll be chillin.
More about Massive McThickthick's match:
Well. Let's think... Ya have to have an open mind, that is very important to me... Men who are set in their ways and don't try new things are a turn off. As far as clothes go, let's just get this out, snugg clothes are absolutely horrible, and the tapered pants look is way gone.. The Baggier look with style is pleasing to my eye. Style is very important because it says alot about someone. Heightwise, ya gotta be taller than me. Weight is really not that important as long as yer confident in yourself, look good and know it, but not in a caucky way. Dental hygiene is quite a bit of importance.. Snaggletooth is one of the first things that'll make me run the opposite direction.. Tattoos, piercings, facial hair.. LOVE EM!!(Not a must-have..but ya score extra points!!) You'd have a good sense of humor, at least good enough to deal with mine.. (very sarcastic at times).. And it'd be cool if you're outgoing and initiate conversations rather than me goin fishin for a topic every five minutes.. Also, most importantly, it is a must that you understand and appreciate women like myself with extra meat, if weight is an issue for you on girlies.. please don't bother replyin.. OH! if you are like over 35.. PLEASE do not reply! I am NOT lookin for an older sugar daddy! I dunno...Just be yerself.. That's all... Holler
(AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!)
SINCE NO ONE READS MAYBE I CAN SAVE YOU A EMBARRASING MOMENT BY SAYING I DATE BLACK MEN ..MEN OF COLOR .... I am a mixed 5ft 5 sassy redbone-ish sista with flesh n meat on her bones, that likes em big n brown .. In other words ..BRUTHAS!! tall thick BROWN/BLACK BRUTHAS .. If your not one .. sorry that's my flavor. Lets be honest for a second here ..reality check.. all these ads all these people...we say the right things hoping in fact that we can find someone we like enough to consider getting neked with...and hopefully they turn us on mentally as well as physically. I appreciate the out of state love and although I always enjoy making new friends ...long distance just isn't going to work ....so don't ask...nothing personal.
(The reality check you imposed in the middle of your profile was truly Earth-shattering. It's like you "kept it real." What you mean to say is that we are all looking for lovers who ignite not only our loins, but our hearts and minds? Crap, I guess redbone-ish means "chosen one")
HELLO I DISCRIBE MYSELF AS SELF CONFIDENCE AND THE ABILITY TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE. I AM THICK AND VOLUPTIOUS WMN AND SOPHICATED, OLDER MAN NO ADULANCE HERE JUST KNOW WHAT I WANT I LIFE. SUCCESSFUL SELF EMPLOYEED ALL AMERICAN GAL. MAN LOOKING FOR IS INDEPENDENT KNOW WHAT HE, WHATS IN LIFE BEEN THERE DONE IT TYPE OF GUY. NOT NESSECARY THE LOOKS BUT, NOT WORKING AT A FAST FOOD JOINT WITH NO PROSPECTS IN LIFE. A PROFFESONAL FIELD OR BUSINESS AND HAVE A GOAL AND NOT ATTACHED SUCH AS DIVORCE PEOPLE......DO NOT LIKE WANT A PERSON WITH THE CONFIDENT AND ABILITY TO BE WITH ME.I AM A FREE WINDED ALL AROUND BLOND.
(After this ad appeared, this free-winded blonde was sophicated to death)
i am 5'2 i have brown hair green eyes thick and i like to have fun.i like video games i manly stay home not many friens i like to go to the beach i like to travel and my favorite place to go is califonria. i would like a nice looking black man who has money to spend on me to make me feel good. i love hair so it would be nice if they had hair and big lips.
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At least she isn't Governor of Cauliflower. I mean Califonria. |
I am single young guy looking for a nice but firm female. you could get my pic upon request until i can get it on the comuter. i am 5"11 225lbs thick not fat,athletic. i want a girl who is sweet nice but also has an brain. brains are vital to me. you need to be somewhat athletic or atleast look like it thick is ok too just not fat ,you know if you are fat, and must have a pretty face. also the darker and longer the hair the better.i love God,my family,music,shoes,cars,and to talk on the phone and ask questions.God bless
(Nice but firm? So nice implies flabby? Not too shabby)
I love to have fun. i bam told by many that im goodlooking i really think that they are lieing but u can judge for yourself when we meet. i love everyone. ill help anyone at anytime. i usally put others before myself. im thick but not gross thick im more strong thick. i guess i looking for a lady that likes to be treated like a queen but not expects the world doesnt need everything she sees. someone that can be their self and loves to have fun she must know when to be relaxed and when to be uptight. she should like to drive fast and must not get scared to easy in my car. i have street racer in my blood what can i say. if u want to find out what im all about drop me a line. the only way to know if u like someone is if u meet with them. ps please email me to talk to me if ur interrested
(The last sentence really cleared things up, thanks. I was so unsure of what to do after reading your strong thick profile. No wait, I was sure! I was going to stab myself repeatedly)
she has to like to watch tv,movies,board games every once and a while,she has to be just as sarcastic as me,kinda thick but not obise, no a fusser,not a chevy girl,likes to watch sunsets,1/2 tomboy 1/2 girly girl,in to watching sports likes to play hack,not afraid of meeting strange people(cuz i am kinda strange,smokes,and drinks
(Somewhere Henry Ford is smiling)
R U LIKE SANDY FROM SPOUNGEBOB
im cool sexy rich strange loving opinionated funny chubby dumb dashing entertaining direct bright lazy hungry political active lazy smell good and not really rich.
More about cool sexy rich strange loving opinionated funny chubby dumb dashing entertaining direct bright lazy hungry political active lazy smell good and not really rich's match:
shes cool bright Rich sexy smart responsible cute good tart slim stout thick thin teeth legs womanly demuer' sleek rubinesque lovley older younger eyes lips toes tummy hips fantastic sporty frumpy relaxed tickelish freckeld pale tan talented mmmmmmmmm im in love
(You forgot one important characteristic: fantastically retarded)
strawberry blond hasle eyes 5'3" 135lbs. I work in medical. I am a cancer so I am very emotional but very caring. I would give the shirt off my bsck for someone as long as they don't screw me. I am looking for romance. Nice strongthick black man. well built has education, and is interested in commitment. or well mannered white boy with red hair and green eyes.
(So you'd like either a black man, or an Irish laddy? Ok. I hear ya. But if we were engaged in foreplay, and my intention was to screw you, would you give me the shirt off your back then? Damn you be a hasle)
I am Huggable-N-Lovable so I am told. Large not obese. So lets see honest and open hmmmm I want someone who is interested in tons of affection and soft whispers in the ear.
(Like "Bring that sexy, large-but-not-obese ass over here")
Time in front of the T.V. is cool too, but, a short walk through the woods to the icecream shop is way cooler. My life experience has showed me three pertanient this. 1. Always think of her first. 2. Always listen attentively. 3. Affection Affection Affection is always a good thing.I am a hopless romantic who loves romantic strides and settings. Now dont get me wrong there is a time and place for everything. So here goes, U will be heard. U will be cared for. U will always,always be thought of first. So there it is honest and open. by the way all the stuff that comes along with dating is what I like most of all. The feeling of meeting someone new and being adventrous is way cool. Hugs and an open ear are here . Come Come Must like the Big Bear type. (stuffed that is). Not obese because I am not just in case u were thinking that.
(Not anymore! Come come, we all know the difference between large and obese)
More about large but not obese's match:
She should be kind,open and honest about her feelings simply because I dont read minds. A spirited, spirtual woman is what I am looking for who will be woman to me while I am man to her. Emotionally bankrupt need not apply. Please be honest and know how to communicate effectively & appropriately. Be happy and like to have fun. I dont like woman that are abusive ~ verbally, emotionally & physically ~ Been there, did that!!! Everyone has a past... please do not be judgemental. Are there any nice girls left out there???
(You're sitting on one of them)
"I love to meet people who like me."
About me and who I'd like to date
I want that people who like me after watch my photo and can like me how am I.Thats all.Some people don't like me because of my extra pounds or they think I'm look ugly but what ever it is its given by GOD.And don't laugh at it please.Thanking you all in advance.I'm and Computer Graphic Designer and Animator and want to go abroad for higer study about this subject.And thats all of me.
(Don't hog all the twinkies God gave you! He intended for all of us to share them. What ever)
About me and who I'd like to date
Marques is a simple guy looking for that right spritual lady. I'm a very loving guy who's seeking a lady with class not ass. I love full-figured women
(When Marques comes back tell him that full-figured women often have ass)
Lookin for a good country gal that can cook has ambishions and loves to have a good time but knows she to tend to prorities an average size to heavey set i dont like skinny weman that is sick and a big turn off i like a healthy lookin gal one who dont mind cookin and cleaning but is not to proud to let me do it Im a good country boy so what eles can i say
(That you're related to Retardo Montalban)
love big n thick women (come on big girls) from chicago live in ky ,im 6feet6inches lightskinned black male (prefer white or latino ladies)anything else jus ask!!!
sweat young man seeking his sweatheart
(Ain't he sweat?)
I'm in School to become a paralegal. And loving it.I'm 5'5" thick in the thighs,small stomach but hides it well. Need someone who will be there when I needed.
(Wait, are your thighs 5'5" thick? And is this small stomach of yours hiding the thighs? And if it's your stomach that's small, why would you need to hide it? Screw it, I needed an aspirin)
About Me:
HI I AM 28 AM LAIDBACK OPENMINDED EASY GOING GAL WHO LIKES TO BAKE. I HAVE GR EYES AND SHORT BROW HAIR I AM 5'2 AND VALUMPOUS. I LOVE ROLLERCOATER RIDES, BUBBLE GUM. I AM A GEMINI SO I CHANGE MY MIND ALOT LOL LOVE TO LAUGH. I WOULD LIKE TO MEET SOME ONE WHOS HONEST, OPENMINDED, FUNNY, AND SHARES SOME OF THE SAMES INTERESTS AS ME AND LIVES IN MY HOME TOWN, NEAR MY AGE
Gender: Female seeking Male
From: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
Age: 28
Height: 4' 11"
Weight: 152 pounds
Body Style: Cuddly
Activity Level: Rarely Active
Marital Status: Single
Languages I speak: English
Education: High School
Education Emphasis: HIGH SCHOOL
Rate intelligence: Medium Importance
Headline: loking for a good man
You are looking for:
I AM LOOKING FOR ONE MAN WHO IS HONEST STABLE RESPONSABLE SENCE OF HUMORE NONE REACEST BETWEEN 27 33 YRS OLD
My idea of the perfect first date:
SOME THING FAIRLY SIMPLE CASUAL BUT UNIQE MAYBE SOME FLOWERS AND A GOOD CONVERSATION AND SOME FUNNY JOKES SOUND KINDA NICE
My perception of an ideal relationship:
MY PERCEPTION OF AN IDEAL DATE WOULD BE TO FIND A HONEST HARD WORKING MAN WHO OPEN MINDED THAT DOES THINGS 50/50 A BIT OF ROMANIC WITH FLOWERS AND A NICE CASUAL DINNER WOULD BE SWEET I THINK A RELATION SHIP SHOULD BE BUILT ON TRUST HONEST COMENTMENT AND LOTS OF COMUICATION
What I've learned from my past relationships:
IVE LEARN FROM MY PAST IVE GROWN ALOT IN A MORE MATURE LADY BECAUSE OF THEM. TO BE HONEST WITH MY SELF PATIENTS CAN BE A VERCHOU AND 4 YEARS ITS TO LONG
(Maybe Canadians ARE evil after all)
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