Funny Poems, Baby Momma Drama From Personals

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I'm pregnant!

Bowel full o' popcorn

The Things Men Say
The Cyber Diary of Alexis Nexis

Baby Momma Drama from Pathetic Personals

Well' what can I say besides my DESCRIPTION,,i'm a single mom of a SEXY 4 year old lil man,, I love life,,dinning out, clubing, dancing or just staying home relaxing cuddleing to a good movie,, disslikes,, LOOSERS if u don't have a job or a car and you live with your momma don't bother,, Someone good looking,,hardworking,,and DEFINATELY a family type,,I don't mind if u have a kid,,but if we were to get INVOLVED I don't want n e BABY MOMMA DRAMA!!!fell free to contact me if you are interested,,oh and plz dont be shy or blunt!

(N e baby momma drama is the worst kind. Just ask that SEXY 4-year-old of yours)

I am interested in an honest, grounded person , not too macho to have feeling and even express them from time to time. My love for spiritual, FUNLOVING, balance/groundedness {not preachy Holy than Thou , is the ultimate for me at this time in my life . So NO BABY MOMMA DRAMA is acceptable. My zest for life keeps me travelling although work is challenging @ times and doesnt allow this free spirit to move about the planet as often as I wish. But there is always an intriguing read from time to time as a meager substitute. You know who you are , now all you have to do is step up to the plate. Peace to all Jaayz

Keep yo baby momma drama wif yo baby momma

Damn, I shouldn'ta typed my name at the end there. Ok, fine, so I'm on the net lookin' fo muh honies. I keep it realer than most I know your feelin it. Cristal on ice I like those toes I keep spillin it.

"If you want respect as a woman act like one"

About me and who I'd like to date
Just a drama free woman without a bunch of baggage. I have no need for a confused woman not knowing if she is driving from her boyfriends weekend palace AKA prison house. Please no confused little girls only women.......... I would love to meet a woman that cares about her health and does something other than sit on the couch and eat bon bons and watching Oprah talking about how much weight she has gained. Please drama free no ex boyfriends that you seem to hook up with on occassion. I would like to meet a woma and go to church with her on sundays. I have not seriously dated a woman since I was shot in 1999.

(And you're bitching about no drama?)

More about her match:
Looking for a guy who has no baby momma drama, mammitis (mamma's boy), someone who has the energy to take me out and about....exploring new things...

mam·mi·tis (n.): Inflammation of the mammary gland or breast. Read more vocab

well rounded unique individual, confident in what i'm doing on this god's green. FUN.FUN.SEXY & MORE FUN .HOLLA AT YA BOY. i stay on the chill, like to have a lil fun as you can read-hopefully or maybe somebodies reading too you.BUT AS I SAY &to quote "TO EACH HIS OWN" i'm a very understanding person! I'LL PUT IT DOWN LIKE YOU WANT ME TOO.I GOT THE MAGIC STICK music is my love I BE IN THE 2 TO THE 5 FOUR ...GET At ME!

More about his match:
SMART..SEXY.CONFIDence & UNDERSTANDIN. ADENTVENTEROUS SHARING..SPONTANEOUS. BUT STILL OLD FASHIONED IN HER WAYS ATHLETIC.IN CONTROL. OF HER EMOTIONS & KNOWS WHEN SPACE aND SHES NEEDED. SHE NEEDS TO BE LOYAL,FAITHFUL CARING,& HURRY the hizzle UP OVER HERE AND Come BE MY BABY MOMMA.RL

(Put that damn magic stick away)

Down to earth professional single Afro-American mix American Indian but proud of being Afro-American. Live alone in my own home,no crimminal record and have no "My Baby Momma". I have many interest from Arts to feeding my Spirit a little Christ. I am well cultured in many Racial and Ethnic group and do speak some spanish. Travel the world, so a distance relationship that could lead to marriage is considered in my search.

(Way to go making Christ sound like a cracker...or should I say wafer?)

What you have before you LADIES, is a hard working father of five(5) boys and (1)girl. I'm not now nor will I ever be looking for a baby momma, because I already have those. What I am looking for is someone with whom I can exchange intellectual conversation with. Now here's the surprising thing it does not have to be about sex, because frankly I could stand to hold out for awhile. (Yes, guys can hold out, some longer than others but we can do it.)

(If you can hold out, why do you have so many kids and baby mommas? I for one (1), can't have too (2) many baby mommas)

I HAVE HIGH GOALS AND YOU COULD SAY THAT I THINK "FUTURISTIC". I TRY TO GO TO CHURCH WEEKLY AND I WOULD LIKE TO GROW SPIRITUALLY.I DONT MIND IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, BUT YOU GOTTA BE ACTIVE IN THEIR LIVES, AND YOU MUST BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR "BABY MOMMA DRAMA".

More about her match:
I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SOMETIMES,"STUFF HAPPENS",BUT I DONT NEED A MAN THAT IS TOO NEEDY...HE SHOULD HAVE HIS "STUFF"(YOU KNOW WHAT I WANNA SAY) TOGETHER. NO, I CANT GIVE YOU A RIDE, I CANT LOAN YOU MONEY,AND YOU CANT COME LIVE WITH ME. HAVE YOUR OWN EVERYTHING!!!! RESPECT ME, AND KNOW THAT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO ME THAN SEX.HE ALSO SHOULD NOT NEED ME TO ENCOURAGE HIS CHRISTIANITY.HE NEEDS TO LOVE GOD WITH OR WITHOUT ME.AND HONESTY IS ALWAYS A GOOD THANG.TAKE PRIDE IN YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING STUCK UP..LOOK GOOD FOR ME...I LOVE TO SEE MEN WITH FRESH HAIRCUTS, CLEAN SHOES, FRESH NEW WHITE T-SHIRTS/URBAN WEAR,AND SMELLIN GOOD FOR ME WITH A BOMB SMILE.

(I think "futuristic" too, and I hope you're not part of it)

More about her match:
The man I am seeking should be able to back up what he says. No head games. No attachements that he can't seem to shake...you know....you can have a "baby momma" but don't still be sleepin with her while you are trying to talk to me.You know...just be cool peoples!

(So I can't talk to you while I'm having sex with my baby momma? Fo shiz, you just ain't down wit da brown)

Big Thick Girl Lookn 4 Honest Black Man

I'm 5'8, I'm a big, full figured chic with a medium 2 deep cocoa brown complexion. My hair is between my neck & shoulders, it is deep brown with some reddish natural highlights. I have 2 tatts & 1 piercing. I'm living single & I'm employed. I enjoy movies, dining, road trips 4 the weekend, cooking, playing cards/dominoes, museums, plays, concerts, & I have an ecclectic taste in music. I love 2 read & I write poetry 2 clear my mind. I love scented candles & incense to soothe my mood when I chill at home. I'm looking 4 some1 2 spend sometime with, go out & have fun & enjoy getting 2 know 1 another. I would prefer some1 at least 29 yrs of age, who's at least 6'0 in ht. Kids are cool BUT not an army of them & I'M NOT 4 BABY MAMA DRAMA!.

My hair used to be between my neck and shoulders, too. Luckily they were able to transplant most of it back on top of my head. Keep hope alive.

Basically- I am: ~23 y/o, work, drive, PUERTO RICAN!!! Here it goes: get ready! I'm tired of the bull, the drama, the ignorant individuals who call themselves "men". I need a MAN who can wine and dine me--satisfy me. Someone who can drive themselves to pick me up, or atleast take a bus --I'm tired of driving!!!! A handsome,tall(5'8 or more), smart, sophisticated individual who knows how to be ghetto--- Get it? A "survivor" in "temptation island"---------- Real is the word. Simple?!?- Let me be a little more specific this time, since last time I got all types of responses. If you looking to hit-- don't respond. If you walking around w/ baby momma drama-- don't respond. If you about games--don't respond. If you ugly--don't respond. If you short--dont' respond. If you not black or spanish--don't respond(sorry my preference). If you over the age of 30--dont respond.

(In short, don't respond)

Hello guys. What lies before you is a 32 year old female, tall (6'2) slim, loves to laugh, cook (at times) lol and I like going out and having a good time. I am hoping to meet some friends online and see what develops after that. If you are interested in just having sex or a one night stand then I sure hate it for ya. Move on to the next ad. I'm interested only in making friends.....Holla at me, and please please be drama free...No Baby Momma Drama tolerated here! Not looking for a man any longer. I'm just interested in meeting people for conversations.... Sometimes it be's like dat'.

(Makes complete sense. You just wanna talk, no relationship whatsoever. That's why you joined the dating service, yo. And I suppose it's all quite necessary for your future "conversation partner" to have no children, to know your physical characteristics and your availability for sex. Hey, that's what friends need to know. It be's like dat')

I build custom cars and trucks,you have probley seen me or my car club around town. I drive a 4 door blazer slammed with a nice pair of beat um ups. i like to sit at home with friends or watch my son Zeke. me and my "babys momma" are split up at the time and im lonly

(I got a pair of beat um ups, too. They're called my fists)

"Too Preshus To Pass By"

The person that I am looking for, I would hope that he does not have any kids but if he has at least one then that's okay but I do not want the "baby momma" drama (been there, did that, done that and do not want to go back). I hope he does not smoke or drink heavily. Overall, someone who likes to have fun and will like me for me.

(Fascinating, not only have you "done that", but you "did that" as well. How preshus)